A plea on your silent ears.

Please, let this be the last time I give up on you. Let this be the last time I blatantly ignore you; thinking about you until the sound of your name becomes the white noise in my mind, and then purposefully staying away from you. May this time, be the time, that I will myself to actually do something about all of this.
This, this that I don't know how to control or name. This that I'm so unsure about. This that I know so clearly.
You are, so unerringly, important to me. So why.. how... do I fail you so often?

Perhaps, I am not what I've always claimed to be.